The ChatterExpress Show
by Voltage Axe
Summary: A radio show hosted by my OC. The S.H. mugiwaras will guest host on this show, and they would probably talk about real events from the real world...or not. Read and review! CONTENT UPDATED!
1. The Topic, Dude!

**The Chatter-Express Radio Show: A One Piece fiction!**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the One Piece T.V. series and graphic novel. They are owned by their respectful owners...

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**Announcer: **You're listening to the GLPR—Grand Line Public Radio, home of the famous Chatter-Express show with the host Sunny Eng. The time's now 12:00pm and now we present you Chatter-Express!

**Sunny: **Hello, listeners of this radio station. You're listening to the Chatter-Express talk show on GLPR, 188.8 FM. Joining my radio show, are the famous pirates from the legendary pirate crew, the Straw Hats. Now, I've never hosted a radio show featuring a REAL pirate crew...since the Whitebeard pirates came to the station. Boy, Luffy's brother really heated up the room. Anyway, the Straw Hats are expected to drop by sooner so let's air a few commercials and come right back.

**Announcer:** The Chatter-Express show with Sunny has been sponsored by, the marines. They want you...to be a new recruit!

**Commercial Announcer: **Hey kids! Try Captain Haggard's Chewy Pink Taffy! It tastes good when you're on the sea!

**Kid #1: **Hey, it really does taste great!

**Kid #2: **And it's also pink!

**Kid #1: **I don't care! As long as it's sweet, for sure!

**Com. Announcer: **Captain Haggard's Chewy Pink Taffy! Now available at your nearest saloon, or store!

(Second commercial plays)

**Com. Announcer: **Spit Bucket Productions and Warner Bros. presents a horror film you may not want to see if you have a faint of heart, or other medical conditions...

(Women screams)

**Com. Announcer: **The Night that 4kids Returned...rated R, for ridiculously retarded.

**Announcer: **And now, we're back to the talk, GLPR radio!

**Sunny: **Hey holmes, we're back to the important stuff at the Chatter-Express here on Grand Line Public Radio. The Straw Hat crew has arrived at the building and are joining with me in the room right now.

**Luffy: **Hi mom! I'm on T.V.!

**Sunny: **Um, Luffy this is not televised—it's a radio show.

**Luffy: **Oh...sorry! HEY MOM, CAN YOU HEAR ME ON THE RADIO?!

**Nami: **(beats up Luffy) BAKA! Don't scream that loud on the radio, you're causing our ears to go deaf!!

**Luffy: **Oww..._Nami_!

**Zoro: **Look, can we get along with this? I'm starting to get more sweaty than usual.

**Sunny: **Okay, okay. Let's get along with it. We're here to talk today about real world events happening most recently.

**Luffy: **Oh, you mean like I impersonated Chopper and Usopp laughed?

**Sunny: **NO, YOU IDIOT! THAT'S NOT EVEN A REAL EVENT AT ALL!

**Luffy: **Ok, just calm down will you?

**Sunny: **(sigh) Okay. So, we're all voicing our opinions based on the events that happened around Earth, as we know it. Even the listeners are voicing their opinions on the radio, as well. To the people listening to this show, please don't be shy and call in to voice your opinion about what happened most recently. (**A/N: **That means YOU READERS out there. Submit your opinions as reviews, and they must be about the topic that will be mentioned on this fiction.) Our topic today, will be the 2008 U.S. Presidential Elections. Do you think that the Democrats will succeed for the first time over the Republicans, with the help of Barack Obama?

**Luffy: **I've never heard of that kind of event before.

**Zoro: **Me too.

**Sanji: **So am I.

**Sunny: **(sweatdrops) Okay, then...we'll be right back after the break. Stay tuned!

**Announcer: **The ChatterExpress show with Sunny will be right back...with our sponsors!

**Com. Announcer: **The new Grog Lite beer just got better. Aside from its improved flavour and taste, our packaging is the better of the improvements! When you see the barrels turn blue, that means your beer is certified COLD!

**Some Guy: **Wait, isn't that copying Coors Light?

**Com. Announcer: **(in a low voice) Someone better kill this guy.

**Some Guy: **Uh-oh...

**Com. Announcer: **The new Grog Lite! Feel the alcohol's PIRATE POWERRR!

**Announcer: **And now we're back to the opinionated talk, Grand Line Public Radio...188.8 FM!!

**Sunny: **Hey, we're back guys! I see Luffy has been stopped from chewing out the wires for our audio equipment by Zoro. Of course, I did promise him some meat for arriving to the show, but...heh the meat will come soon!

**Luffy: **WHERE'S MY MEAT?!

**Sunny: **It's coming, Luffy. Anyway, we explained the current topic we're gonna voice our opinions about and that's the 2008 U.S. President Elections. With two months to go, Democrat Barack Obama has chosen his VP nominate and is ready for the election. But, the question is, will the Democrats power over the Republicans in the presidential race with the help of Obama himself? We asked that question over the airwaves, and it seems that...we have...a caller. OKAY! Let's head over to Line #1. Hello, you're on the ChatterExpress!

**Caller: **Hello? Is this the host of the show?

**Sunny: **Yeah, you're on ChatExpress.

**Caller: **Oh, hello! My name's uRufu, and I'm from Indonesia. I'm still curious about the 2008 U.S. Presidential Elections, um, please answer that I wanna know.

**Sunny: **Well, uRufu, I have known recent developments that Democrat Obama has choesn Joe Biden as his Vice-Presidential nominate. Now, Joe Biden is a Senator in the state of Deleware and he has done stuff in the past that made him the running mate for Obama. On the Republicans side, John McCain has decided which running mate he would choose. In general, this must be a biggest battle a U.S. election has ever experienced. Currently, most of the States are in favour of McCain, but once the real elections start things will soon change dramatically...or not. Did you catch all of that, guys?

**Straw Hats: **Zzzzzzz...

**Sunny: **(thinking) _Oh brother..._

(Sunny then pushes a button that lets out a hawk wailing loudly in the room)

**Straw Hats: **(awake) AAAAAHHH!

**Sunny: **Glad you're awake guys! Sorry, caller. You were saying?

**Caller: **Yes, I have more. Luffy, do you really have a mother? I mean, do you even know your mother?

**Luffy: **Well, if I didn't have a mom then why wouldn't I be here?

**Zoro: **Considering your intelligence...

**Luffy: **...

**Sunny: **...

**Luffy: **But seriously, I haven't seen my mother in a long time. It's just like, you know, you're trying to find the One Piece and then you forget a lot of things!

**Sunny: **Wow, that's really a good answer there, Luffy!

**Luffy: **Gee thanks, sir!

**Zoro and Sanji: **(Glare at each other in sarcasm mood)

**Caller: **Oh, and more thing...what are your thoughts about 4kids Entertainment? I want all of you to answer that.

**Sunny: **You mean, 4crap? Personally, I hate how they dub anime FOR THE RECORD. In fact, they shouldn't deserve the name "4KIDS ENTERTAINMENT"! God, I'll never watch another dubbed anime again...

**Luffy: **He's right! They made me sound like a girl with a soar throat!

**Zoro: **THEY CHANGED MY NAME TO ZOLO! What kind of bastards would they do this to me?!

**Nami: **Also, THESE SICKOS MADE ME SOUND LIKE A PRE-TEEN! And why would they change my attack names like this? What's wrong with the name "Thunder Tempo"?!

**Sanji: **...yeah, they gave me a Brooklyn accent. And my cigarrette was changed to a lollipop. Damn.

**Usopp: **I SOUND GIRLIER THAN LUFFY! AND THEY RUINED MY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!

**Rest of Nakama: **AND THAT'S NOT ALL!

**Caller: **Thank you guys! Good-bye!

**Sunny: **Okay, time now for our sponsors. The ChatExpress will be right back!


	2. Q&A Corner!

**Sunny: **Hello, we're back on the show. Our "Obama vs. McCain" topic is over, and defying what topics I have to do today, I'm skipping ahead to the Q&A segment, for the whole entire show. That means you listeners out there, call our phone number to send in your questions to the Straw Hat crew.

**Luffy: **I have a question!

**Sunny: **What, Luffy?

**Luffy: **Um...where is the washroom?

**Sunny: **(sigh) Down the hallway, third door on yer left.

**Luffy: **Okay, thanks!

**Sunny: **Well, Luffy has to go take a "oui-oui", so let's just get to the callers already shall we? We have one person here on Line #2. Hello, you're on the ChatExpress!

**Random Caller #1: **ARABASTA PUSSIES RULLLLEEE!!

**Nami: **(sweatdrops) Umm...okay??

**Rest of Mugiwaras: **(they also sweatdrop) Yeeeahh...

**Sunny: **Mm-hmm. We'll cut that caller and move to the next caller. Hello, caller your're on the Chat...EXpress.

**Random Caller #2: **Ugh, that last caller is so full of turd! Everyone knows that women are made from water--

**Sunny: **Okay, we'll cut you off there. Thank you for calling! Oh boy, we haven't gotten this much better callers today...we'll be back after the breaks, when Luffy is back.

**Com. Announcer: **New from ComServe! A new phenomenon craze is available on your phone! Get the new Rick Astley ringtone on your cellphone, by texting the word "RICK" to the numbers 86-94-94! Text the numbers 86-94-94 today!

(**A/N: That commercial is fake. And so are other commercials in this.)**

**Com. Announcer: **From the Scurvy Dog Aquatic Ship Company, comes a goldenly gold design of a new ship that stands out from other ships...the five-engine, 400 HP, motorboat called "AQUAMAX". Now available with standard features for about 200 million beli, at your nearest dealership near you.

**Sunny: **Hello, we are back to the public radio station that made history in the Grand Line. I am your radio host Sunny for the ChatExpress show. Luffy is back at the set, and we are just about to take more calls at the station than usual. If you want to ask questions the Straw Hat gang, call our hotline number and we'll get you through.

**Luffy: **AND SEND ME MEAT!!

**Sunny: **(conks Luffy in the head with a brick) Enough, you jackass...

(Beeping sound 3x)

**Sunny:** And we have a caller on the line! Coming from line #64, and hello you're on ChatExpress!

**Silver Wolf Demon: **Hello? Oh, wow I'm on the air! This is kinda new for me...My name is silver from the evergreen state of Washington. Um...Well, since the topic of dubs came up earlier, I have to ask, what do you guys think of the Funimtion dub of the show? Also...my friend is right now bugging me to ask this question so please blame her and not me for this question and opinions?

**Luffy: **Ohiya, silver! Well, I gotta say that the FUNi dub of our show is pretty much better than the crap version made by 4kids!

**Zoro: **That's right, even though I kinda liked my old English-dubbed voice the one supplied by FUNi is pretty much on par. And at least they didn't screw up on the whole topic about blood and violence...

**Nami: **For sure, yes. The voice actors for that version were a great selection...I mean, the FUNimation dub. They even restored the original names translated from Japanese! Instead of "orb", it's "ball"! Sanji, you want to add more on this?

**Sanji: **Sure indeed, Nami-swaaan! Well, compared to that (bleep)-y dub even though I still don't have a cigarette in my mouth at least I DON'T have the typical lollipop 4kids forced me to suck on!

(Zoro chuckles quietly)

**Sanji: **WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, MARIMO-HEAD?!

**Usopp: **More great stuff from that dub is, I almost match the Japanese version in terms of voice and the dubbing company didn't screw up the episode order! Fusing two episodes together into one DOES NOT do any good! It harms the plot and character development!

**Sunny: **Indeed!

**Chopper: **At least they didn't gave me a voice that sounds like a nerdy teen!

**Robin: **And they didn't gave me that Texan-like accent!

**Sunny: **Franky and Brooke, any comments from you guys?

(Both Franky and Brooke shake their heads at the set, while not seen on radio)

**Sunny: **Okay, then.

**Luffy: **Aw well, we don't have to blame any person that can bug you to ask these questions and opinions...it's just like we don't care if they bug you to ask these questions, we're just here to answer them!

**Silver Wolf Demon: **Alright! Thank you for having me on!

**Sunny: **You're welcome, man! Okay, when we come back we'll have more Q&A with the Straw Hats...and LUFFY, STOP MESSING THE RADIO EQUIPMENT!!

(Commercial plays)

**Announcer: **This is a public service announcement.

**P.S.A. Guy:** Hello. If you are a pirate, sailor, or soldier from the Navy and have not consumed enough vitamin C, you are at risk for severe cases of scurvy. Come down to your nearest local clinic or health care provider to receive vitamin C injection treatments. For more details, contact your nearest doctor.

(Commercial ends)


	3. More Q&A In This!

**Sunny: **Aaand, we're back! We still got a lot of time left with the special guest segment, and we want to hear YOUR QUESTIONS for the Straw Hats. Call our number on the telephone and send in your questions (and comments) to the Mugiwaras. Okay, I've spotted three flashing lights on the switchboard and we'll go with Line #33 first. Hello, caller you are on the ChatExpress!

**Random Caller #1: **Hey, have you ever ate octopus? That's some good eating!

**Sunny: **No, I really can't say I have.

**Random Caller #1: **Hells man, you gotta try it sometime! I tells you, I have ate octopus, sea urchins, even starfish meat. It cooks up pretty good!

**Straw Hat Mugiwaras: **(look disgusted)

**Sunny: **Um, yeah...see here I don't want to get the Straw Hats offended but--

**Random Caller #1: **Oh yeah, and seagulls. Seagulls are good too. Sometimes, they come with notes attached, it's like a...fortune cookie with wings or something like that. Sardines...sardines don't taste so good. Meat's real tasteless...ya know what I mean?

**Sunny: **Um, I can't say that I do...but if I had ate too much sardines and put on a few pounds I'd go to the new Slim Pirate Diet Center. Unlike any other diet systems that don't actually work, this diet system does help you stay in shape. Let's learn more from this, shall we?

(Commercial plays)

**Pirate #1: **I've tried ev'rything, and I just couldn't keep those extra 200 pounds off! It started to effect my relationship with my pirate buddies!

**Pirate #2:** That fat pirate really ruins ev'rything, including the recent raid!

**Pirate #1: **The Lipid Loss, L.A. Weight Loss, surgery, I've even had my appendix removed, my face has botox, you named it, I've tried it!

**Pirate #2: **Except for excercising and eating right, hog!

**Pirate #1: **That's right, my dear friend! Then I found the Slim Pirate Diet System! Using a new strategy called Chemicals Additional Surplus, this diet system will make you slim in less than two weeks! Just eat the supplied food from the center, for ev'ry breakfast, lunch, and dinner, then gulp down on the Slip-Slip Fruit and some rumble balls. After those two weeks, I have lost 285 pounds, my buddies respect me again!

**Pirate #2: **That's right, slim! No more escort services for me!

**Announcer: **Don't be fat an hour longer than you have to! Remember, even being fat can ruin a whole night's battle! *YAAAARGH!* Call the Slim Pirate Diet Center now, at 555-SLIM or visit our website and eat your way to a slimmer, happier you!

(Commercial ends)

**Sunny: **Oh, I love these commercials. Don't you, Luffy?

**Luffy: **(shrugs) I guess...

**Sunny: **Anyway, this is the ChatExpress we are taking your calls right now. Hello, caller you are on the air.

**Random Caller #2: **Hi Sunny, is that your real name?

**Sunny: **Huh? Of course it happens to be my real name.

**Random Caller #2: **Are you from the planet Sun?

**Sunny: **Heh heh, no...I'm from the Grand Line if that's the case.

**Random Caller #2: **Are you sure that's not a fake radio name, like Paul or Stiffler? I thought all those radio people had fake names!!

**Sunny: **Do you even have a question for the Mugiwaras, or do you wanna just sit here all day and talk about my name?

**Random Caller #2: **No. That's just it. Love the show, Sunny. Or Sammy. Or Jack. Or Stéphane, whatever your name is.

* * *

**A/N: **Alright, people! This is still teh Q&A Corner, but I'm encouraging you to send questions and/or comments to the Straw Hat Mugiwaras. So please send in those important questions/comments, I'm just asking you that's all.


End file.
